i like you being here.
I wish you hadn’t said that. I’ve thought about it for weeks now. I’ll be laying in my own bed wishing I was there. Then I admitted to writing about you. Tonight was weird. I filled the silence with talking instead of filling it with you. The last time I did this I was scared. Scared of what would happen if I let the silence and the attraction take over. I kind of feel that way now. If I lay with you and let myself feel it, then what. What happens next? In perfect circumstances we wouldn’t work and our circumstances are far from perfect. Sometimes I think about how this will end. Will we go on like this for years… decades? Or will you meet some girl and we’ll fade away? Or will this end in an explosion of both of our lives. And honestly, more mine than yours. You have little consequences here. My life as I know it could crumble.
You leaned over and kissed me. I love kissing you.
I get so insanely jealous at the thought of you kissing someone else. You’re not mine. You won’t be mine. You need someone else. Someone that can love you fully and spend the night with you and do more than dream of kissing you.